A Chestnut

I do not remember jokes very well, no matter how recently I've heard them. The exceptions are the jokes we kids told each other over and over, or ones with a visual cue. Otherwise I remember precisely four long jokes, two of which I learned as a kid and two of which Phil and I used to tell together in college (which is weird because "comedy team" is so not how we would have been described). I just learned a friend of mine likes good jokes; this post is for him. I remember telling this joke when I was at Dudley Stone, so at the most I was eight years old.



Sam Clam and Stan Starfish were best buddies their whole lives. Sam was a lot wilder than Stan, and owned a nightclub with loud music, dancing, drinks, and shady characters, while Stan lived a quiet life. When they died, Stan Starfish went above, Sam Clam went below.


After awhile of strumming his harp in Heaven, Stan missed Sam so much that he begged Saint Peter to allow him to go visit Sam in Hell. Finally Saint Peter said he could, but told Stan he had to be back at the stroke of midnight.


When Stan arrived in Hell, he asked around for Sam and was directed to a big nightclub with lights and music you could see and hear from a block away. "That looks like a place Sam would own," he thought, and went in. he found Sam right away and the two had a grand old time talking about their lives before and since dying. Suddenly, as if no time had passed at all, the clock showed it was midnight, and Stan had to dash out and get back up to Heaven.


He arrived just in time, and Saint Peter was sitting at the Pearly Gates looking him over. Stan stood nervously wondering if Saint Peter was going to let him back in. After considering him for a little bit, Saint Peter asked, "Where is your harp, Stan?"


Stan replied, "I left my harp in Sam Clam's Disco."