See the sign!

Yesterday I realized that I don't want this job for which I interviewed, and it had been ten days and I still hadn't heard what was decided. I thought I was a pretty strong contender for the position, but I spent all day yesterday dreading my phone ringing, in case it was the hiring manager with a job offer. Zirpu and I had a talk over dinner about my continuing to do what I want to do, and doing some new things as well, happiness vs. salary, and dance (which is affected by said salary).

Zirpu's advice was to send an email to the hiring manager and withdraw my application, and to do what I want to do. I'm already volunteering at the food bank, the Pacific Center, and the Wallenberg Community Foundation, but I've wanted to teach reading in the Hayward Public Library's literacy program and I haven't done it because of the time commitment. Today I'm going to go down there and sign up for the training. So last night I wrote the email and proceeded, as usual, to agonize about sending it.

Sending it or not wasn't really about wanting the job, it was more about burning bridges and appearing flaky to the hiring manager, for whom I had been working just over a year when I went to Cal. When I asked Zirpu if this was the right thing to do, he said, "I don't know... But you never do." Which is true, but was unhelpful. Then I conveniently remembered I'd told Desi I would call her, so I did, and when I told her about this new direction I was considering going in, but I was afraid to start the process , she said, "Well, how long do you want to agonize over this?"

In the course of the conversation I told her that I wish I had a sign, telling me that it was the right thing to do. When we hung up, I went back to my computer and continued cleaning out my junk email box (to further postpone hitting "send") and found a message from Chris Baty of National Novel Writing Month which had come in on January 15th - the Monday following my interview. The fortuity of receiving this message in that moment astounded me, and I hit "send."

Here is the important part of Chris Baty's email (emphasis mine).

Dear Novelist, [...]

The truth is that 2007 is the Year We Will Be Trying Big, Fun, Scary Things Together.

Yep. It turns out that November was just a warm-up for a year of stretched brains and uncharted horizons. To help you make the most of TYWWBTBFSTT, the Office of Letters and Light will be hosting a couple great challenges---high-velocity screenplays in June at ScriptFrenzy.org, and another round of noveling in November.

But there's more.

And it's up to all of us to pull it off.

Think for a moment about those activities, classes, and endeavors that you've long daydreamed about, but have never quite got around to tackling. I'm talking about the roads less traveled---the tuba lessons, the family-history writing, the foreign language learning, the transformation of your living room into a multi-story race course for feral hamsters. These are the nonessential creative activities that get us in over our heads, bring new people into our lives, and help make life more magical.

As adults, we tend to steer clear of these pursuits because they take time and cost money. But putting off all our adventures for later comes with its own set of costs. Our souls become dry and brittle. Our energy levels sag. Our noses fall off.

Which is why I'm inviting you to pick a couple never-before-attempted endeavors that have long intrigued and daunted you, and then do them in 2007.

Publicly.

Yep. Once you have your list of new adventures post it in the Adventure Log, 2007 thread of the brand-new Trying Big, Fun, Scary Things Together 2007 forum on the NaNo site.

[...]

Here's to a big, fun, and scary 2007!

Chris
NaNoWriMo