Monday, September 22, 2008

The Personal IS Political, and Love! Love! Love!

I'd like to think everyone I know is in favor of love and opposed to Measure 8 and other "Defense of Marriage" Act-type laws. I understood why the doctrine of "separate but equal" is wrong, but not what was so "right" about being married. Then I knew I wanted to marry Zirpu and I understood why being married is so important.

I recently received this wedding announcement from two dear friends of mine, announcing their act of "civil obedience." They have given permission for me to post this beautiful letter. Hooray for love!

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It seems suddenly the personal has become very political, in my life. This is an unusual wedding announcement, because I'm sending it to everyone I can think of, not just family and close friends, and not even just those who recall how they know me (although I hope all of you do!) I'm delighted to announce that Michelle Greenberg, my partner of four years, and I will be getting legally married here in San Francisco (I know, we live in Oakland, but SF City Hall is MUCH prettier) this coming month. This announcement is also unusual because it's not to invite you all to the ceremony -- they only allow six attendees -- or to try to get you to send gifts. Please don't send gifts, really!!

The purpose of this announcement is to tell you how much it means to us to be able to get married, legally, as we contemplate trying to create a family together, and spending our lives together, as the life of a married couple.

Most of you are aware there's a ballot measure here in California that is trying to make unconstitutional the marriage of couples who are of the same gender. Yes, Michelle and I are the same gender. Please think of us at the polls, because for every same-sex couple out there waiting to arrive at the moment when they know their love is forever, there are two sets of wonderful, loving family, friends and acquaintances just like all of you, who can offer them their support in assuring that this right be preserved for us all to find the love of our lives and make solemn and legal the commitment we make to each other, to our communities, and to our families. Please share our story with your friends, family and acquaintances, if you feel so inspired!

For those to whom this reaches a deep, deep place in your hearts, perhaps because you are also affected by this issue, or perhaps because this issue simply speaks deeply to your personal principles, I have included a link to a website of a coalition of organizations, No on Prop 8, where donations can be made to support efforts to defeat this ballot measure. You can go to If you're one of those people that absolutely can't resist sending wedding gifts, consider this the best possible option, in our case!

My home state of Wisconsin passed a similar measure some years back, referred to as a DOMA, or Defense of Marriage Act, as an amendment to its constitution. As a result, I cannot move my family back to the state where my mother lives, and where I grew up, and preserve for my future spouse and our children the rights and protections conceded to us by the current laws of the State of California. I am very grateful to be able to continue my life here in California and enjoy all the rights, and carry all of the responsibilities, of other married people in loving, nurturing families here in this State. I hope someday that Wisconsin's DOMA may be repealed, and I'm sure there will be plenty of people like Michelle and me, living out their lives in Wisconsin, who will continue to fight for that greater justice. Sadly, it is so much harder to undo what has already been done, especially in the sphere of laws. I wish them courage and perseverance. And I pray (yes, pray) we do not to have to go through that ourselves, here in California.

Lastly, I write to simply tell you what great joy it gives me to announce my upcoming marriage to Michelle Hannah Greenberg, daughter of Cheryl and Dave Greenberg of Detroit, MI As far as making a family together, we'll keep you posted.....

with much love in my heart,
Margaret Stevenson

1 comment:

pj said...

Congratulations and I hope that everyone everywhere can marry someday. I totally support their marriage.