A Phone Call

I have been following the adventures of a reluctant activist, my college friend Janice. When her wife Lisa was dying in a Miami hospital in 2007, the hospital denied Janice and Janice and Lisa's children visitation because the hospital said they weren't Lisa's next of kin. Janice and the kids filed a suit against the hospital, which was recently dismissed because there's no law requiring respect for families in Florida, and Janice has since found herself behind podiums at LGBT events all over the country, speaking about equal rights.


Yesterday I was looking around www.npr.org and found this story:

April 15, 2010

President Obama is ordering hospitals to extend visitation rights to whomever a patient designates, including same-sex partners, tying the requirement to federal funding for Medicare and Medicaid.

"Gay and lesbian Americans are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they have spent decades of their lives -- unable to be there for the person they love," Obama said in a presidential memorandum.

The new visitation policy will apply to more than just same-sex partners. Under the order, patients can designate anyone -- a friend or a distant relative -- to be a surrogate decision-maker.

Hospitals that receive Medicare and Medicaid funding will be required to comply.

Gay and lesbian groups have been fighting for years to get hospital visitation rights, which vary by state.

"One person in a hospital can make a huge difference," said Dr. Jason Schneider, former president of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. "So I think this directive gives weight to the importance of recognizing the variety and the breadth of how people define families."

I emailed Janice and asked if she had heard about this - assuming that she had, but just in case she hadn't. This order, if it had existed three years ago, would have covered Janice and her family. This is the email I received back from Janice: "Oh yes dear. The president called me from air force one as he was issuing the memo."


I must admit that there is no part of that sentence that I do not find totally glamorous. But the really great news is that now the law is on the side of all kinds of families.

Paying Taxes

My first political thought had to do with taxes. I remember suddenly realizing that if people wanted something in their town, they would pay for it with "taxes." The image in my head was of a village that wanted a statue over a fountain, and the people would each have to pay some amount to pay for the statue. Much later I realized that fire departments, roads, and schools were paid for by taxes, and that no one wanted to pay into the kitty and wanted to keep their money themselves.


I did my taxes by hand on binder paper with a pencil until 2002, even though for years I always had at least two if not three or four W2s. It was simple math in those days, with the standard deductions, and I found it kind of fun to do. Later in my financial aid life I learned how to read tax returns doing income verifications, and until I had to figure the value of a business that was kind of fun too. I even trained other people on it!


When I've had to write a check to the IRS, I've often been tempted to write in the memo line what I want my money to pay for. "Head Start," I've imagined writing several years in a row, or five years ago, "Armor for soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan." I've imagined drawing a circle/slash through "ADM." The check to the State Franchise Board would say "Education" and "Libraries."


I wonder what wouldn't get funded if people could say where they wanted their taxes to go. My first guess is legislators' salaries. What would you pay for?

Hope

Now I've been happy lately,
thinking about the good things
to come
And I believe it could be
something good has begun.

       - Cat Stevens

The View From The Mountaintop

I read about this on SFGate's politics blog and want to spread it around.


In 1964, Dr. King told BBC News that he expected a "Negro President" in less than forty years.

Of Thee I Sing!

The first song I learned about America was This Land Is Your Land. I was in a hippie classroom, and the other songs we sang during "rug time" were Old MacDonald, Farmer In The Dell, Yellow Submarine, and Love Potion Number Nine. Of course we all sang Elbow Room from Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings in front of the TV.


I learned America The Beautiful once I started attending CSH. I guess I knew the tune, but during Mass I would read the words in the hymn books tucked into pockets on the pews, and "America The Beautiful" was on the last page. When I grew up, I learned from a friend who worked in the Colorado State Parks that the lyrics were written by a lesbian after she had ridden a wagon up to the summit of Pike's Peak and she had looked over the plain below.


When I was hanging around with ComedySportz, like every other athletic event, the evening always started with the singing of the National Anthem. I don't like this song as much as I like "America The Beautiful" or "My Country 'Tis Of Thee," but I heard on NPR during the Olympics last year that most national anthems include lyrics referring to battle (the French one famously so). What "The Start Spangled Banner" does have as an advantage is its challenge to sing well. When I went to East Bay Harmony for the first time, I sang it to determine that I should sing with the altos.


I'll be singing some song on Tuesday, and after Tuesday. There's a lot to be done and the ideal will never match the reality, but I, like the ant with the rubber tree plant, have hope.

Wow

Take a look at the January 18 Candorville.


Thurgood Marshall is leading the swearing-in, and the bible is being held by Martin Luther King, Jr. I recognize Frederick Douglass, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell, Lyndon Johnson, Harriet Tubman, Condileeza Rice, Abraham Lincoln, the three Freedom Riders killed in Mississippi, Louis Armstrong, and others whose images I recognize but don't know to which name they belong. It's kind of like looking at the cover of Sgt. Pepper's.

True 'Nuff

Check out the January 4 Bizarro comic about pirates that strike fear into people's hearts.

Shacking Up

While I've been resting up from the strain of posting every day, I have been reading a lot. I thought Daughter of the Saints would be more concerned with the life of growing up in a polygamous family, but it turned out to be a lot more about schisms within the offshoots from the Church of Latter-Day Saints.


The thing that I wonder is why in the world the US government even cares about polygamy. I think the problem with it isn't polygamy itself, it's the marrying of young teenage girls to men several times their ages; the exclusion of teenage boys who are thrown out of the community for the smallest infractions so that they can't attach themselves to, or be attached to by, girls their own age. Certainly polygamy as it's practiced by groups like the Fundamentalist Church of Latter-Day Saints is wrong. To me, polygamy is a feminist issue. The girls and women in these LDS offshoots are treated unequally in so many ways, not the least of which is that the men hold the power and the whole point of having many wives is to have many children.


Thinking about polygamy ties right back into conversations I've been having with friends about Proposition 8. One pointed out that the problem is a semantic one around association of the word marriage with a church-based ritual and religious beliefs, and sent me a column by conservative Douglas Kmiec about breaking "marriage" from the state-issued license. This makes sense to me, though people love traditions and I don't think we'll wind up with everyone getting civil unions recognized everywhere and some people getting "married" in their places of worship and/or by clergy.


The law should protect the rights of 13 year old girls who don't want to marry (and should protect teens who do want to marry from making hasty choices). The law should protect gays and lesbians from having their relationships ignored no matter what state they are living in or visiting. Beyond that, why does the state/federal government even care about what consenting adults call their relationship?

Vowels

Last Tuesday night, I was listening to Robert Siegel and Nichelle Norris try to keep us all up to date, or rather up to minute, with all the news coming in from everywhere back east. Because there's always some blank time between polls closing, whoever hosts all those news shows has to keep talking - especially on public radio, where they can't break to commercials or dazzle us with special visual effects like holograms to fill in the time.


The discussion was, of course, about the ethnic background of who was at that time still only "likely" to be our next President. Robert Siegel remarked that Obama would be the first president whose name ended with a vowel, unless you counted Kennedy. Nichelle Norris darted in with "And if you count 'Y' as a vowel."


I'm reading Middlesex, which was published in 2002, and while discussing Dukakis' run for the White House in 1998, Eugenides writes in the voice of the narrator, the grandchild of Greek immigrants:

..."Dukakis." A name with more than two vowels in it running for President! The last time that had happened was Eisenhower (who looked good on a tank). Generally speaking, Americans like their presidents to have no more than two vowels. Truman. Johnson. Nixon. Clinton. If they have more than two vowels (Reagan), they can have no more than two syllables. Even better is one syllable and one vowel: Bush. Had to do that one twice.

(I thought of some three syllable presidents. We've had four since 1901, two of whom were named Roosevelt).


Just above the part I've quoted, Eugenides writes, "Maybe the time had come when anyone - or at least not the same old someones - could be President."


Seems like the time has come now. Obama's not even an incumbent vice president after a successful eight years, which is what I was expecting it would have to be for a person of color to be elected president.

Exhausted and Angry

Anger is exhausting. I've been trying to figure out how to talk about a conversation I had with an acquaintance on Tuesday, and I've been stuck about what to even say about it. Oddly enough, I know this guy much better now than I used to, or would otherwise, if we hadn't gotten to a point where we said that "we can respect each other even though we have differing opinions"... which is really another way to say "I don't want to talk about this anymore."


I had a long talk with KT last night and another one with YaYa Words of Thunder this afternoon. I'm feeling less wound up - at least for now - and now that I'm feeling less wound up, I've been thinking that I need to put the anger behind me. It's only hurting me. I will be behaving differently, but I need to let go of the anger so that I can do my job, enjoy hanging out with friends, and sleep at night. I have to figure out how to talk to people about this election without losing my temper.


Unlike some of my friends, I thought 8 was going to pass. And I figured if it didn't, the supporters of man/woman "traditional" marriage would be back in two or four years anyway, just as the Oregon Citizens Alliance came back in 1994 after being smacked (lightly) in the 1992 election. All I can do is talk about what I think the Constitution stands for, which is freedom to speak, freedom to assemble, and freedom to worship or not. But until I can get rid of the anger, I can't talk about the Constitution in a rational manner.


Tomorrow I'll be with friends, one of whom has promised me a soak in the hot tub and many drinks. Hopefully those three - the friends, the hot tub, and the liquor - will help me expel the anger so I can start over next week feeling happy my guy is going to be the President in January.

To Me, They're Still Married

These are the beautiful happy faces of two people who deserve more than separate-but-equal. Their love is real, and so is their marriage. So are the marriages of the 18,000 other same-sex couples who've gotten married in the last five months.


I'm too angry about Prop. 8 passing to write much about it yet.

Sometimes

Sometimes things don't go, after all,

from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel

faces down the frost, green thrives, the crops don't fail,

Sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war,

elect an honest man, decide they care

enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.

Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes, our best efforts do not go

amiss. sometimes we do as we meant to.

The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow

that seemed hard frozen; may it happen to you.

Adventures At Hillside Church

My polling place was busier than I've ever seen it (which is to say, there were about a dozen people voting). As I got out of the car I observed an African American woman being videotaped by her sons, maybe 10 and 12 years old, dancing her way to the door with her ballot. I congratulated all of them for being there that day, for her bringing the boys and for the boys coming along. The woman asked, "Do you have something to say?" and her son swung the camera toward me. I approached while repeating my speech about how it's our number one duty as citizens to vote, that Election Day is much more important than July 4th. I said I was glad that she was showing them how to vote and told the boys I was glad that they were with her. She said she was taking them to school late because this was so important.


Inside, I stood in line in front of a Latino man who was voting for the first time; he'd become a citizen three years ago. I congratulated him and shook his hand, welcoming him to our most important job as citizens. Broken record? It's what I believe. We chatted a bit about the arguing - he said there's been a lot of arguing in his household as everyone has strong opinions. He mentioned his wife was angry at him for his position on 4 (which he didn't tell me, and rightly so). We agreed that we are disappointed with the lack of dialogue we've had this election season.


When I came out of the church, there was another African American woman out front, maybe waiting for someone. We both remarked on the high turnout. I crossed my fingers and said, "I hope my sides win." She said, "Is it this one? My friend just sent me this" and played a piece on her cell phone of "The next President of the United States - Obama! Obama! Obama!" I thought to myself that she had made a pretty big assumption about me (but thank goodness it was correct), and responded, "I hope so!" Then, getting into the car, I called, "Yes we can!" She said the same to me, dancing with her phone.


It was a good way to start Election Day!

Two, Four, Six, Eight...

It's election day! If you are, or are like, one of the few people I know who hasn't already voted absentee, GET OUT THERE.

I am feeling fatalistic about 8 ("Eliminates right of same-sex couples to marry"), and about 4 ("Waiting period and parental notification before termination of minor's pregnancy"), which has gotten next to no attention because this season been all about 8. I got home last night and the No on 8 sign I put up yesterday is gone. I looked around to see if it had blown off in the wind, but nothing. I'm really, really disappointed in what I assume are my neighbors, because hardly anyone lives here and it's a cul de sac so the only other people around are the trashmen and paper deliverers. Disagreeing with me is one thing, but taking my voice is another.


I drove through a four-corner Yes on 8 rally on my way home. I'm feeling depressed about all this. I think Obama will win, but 4 and 8 will pass. It's so annoying and saddening to me that this is what it comes down to: The culture wars, where no one can be convinced of the opposite position, there's little or no dialogue, and people behave rudely (at best) to each other. There's something wrong about that.


I think the civil status of gay and lesbian people will change all the way in my lifetime. That's what I think about an Obama presidency: Brown v. Topeka Board of Ed was 57 years ago, Loving vs. Virginia was 41 years ago. Look at how much things have changed already for gays and lesbians since Stonewall. I'm not being complacent, I'm being hopeful and optimistic.


Which is what we have to be on Election Day.

Almost There

Back in the days when I would drive straight through from college to home, I always felt like the trip was coming to an end when I would drive past "the bump," a wooded hill next to 80 in, I think, El Cerrito. It was across the highway, more or less, from the piece of Emeryville that sticks into the Bay where the guerrilla art used to be. I knew I was an hour from home, and it was great and awful at the same time: Almost there, but not there yet.


That is how I'm feeling about this election. We're almost there, but not there yet. I've been really wound up, about a number of things, for the last two weeks. I feel like when this is over, most of the things I'm wound up about will have been settled. I hope they are settled the way I want them to be, but right now I really want it to be Wednesday morning - hopefully the decisions will have been made by Wednesday morning.


I know three times as many people who voted absentee than I know people who are actually going to the polls. I like going to the little church on the hill and saying hello to the poll workers, and I don't mind standing in line to vote. I haven't had to do it at my current precinct, but in the past standing in line to vote made me feel like people are participating. This year, though, I wish I had already voted. I'm still undecided about one of the measures, and I just want the decisions made.


If you're voting, and you haven't yet, go out tomorrow, or drop off your absentee ballot. Be heard. I hope you vote the same way I will, but my voice is no louder than yours unless you keep silent. This election will be over soon - I hope.

The Candidate

I thought he was taller.


The Tea Lady and I stopped by Democratic HQ for Hayward to get some yard signs and thought that since this probably as close to him as we'll get, we should get a record of it.


I am looking forward to this election's being over.

BE HEARD

Thursday morning I needed to stall for time at the beginning of service. We were running a little behind inside and weren't totally prepared to have the clients come in yet. I went outside, saying I would make some announcements... slowly... and faced the eighty or so people waiting to come in to get some fruit, vegetables, meat, dairy products, and bread. I made the usual announcement about our next Saturday program and then launched into a political speech.


I reminded everyone that this Tuesday is Election Day and if they're registered to vote they need to go and vote. There was a smattering of cheers - and now I know what "a smattering of cheers" sounds like. I told people how and where they could find out where to vote, and how to sign up to work at polling places. I cried, "Tuesday is the day to make your voice heard! This is when the nation listens to you!"


Sure, I ramped up the hysteria, and I was hoarse afterward. But I didn't say anything I don't believe: There are responsibilities that come with being a citizen, and I believe that voting is one of them. I never mentioned any of the ballot measures or candidates for any office. I want everyone to turn out and participate in our imperfect democracy... the more participants, I like to think, the more perfect democracy.

Surprised?

Is it an October Surprise if no one pays any attention?


I've heard only two short stories about the US attack on the Syria/Iraq border to kill an Al Qaeda operative. One of the volunteers mentioned it on Monday and the next day I heard a short piece about Syria wanting restitution for the people who were killed.


I know it's cynical to focus on the effect of deaths of people on the other side of the world on the US Presidential election, but the October Surprise is practically conventional wisdom. We haven't had one this year - I thought it was going to be the results of the investigation into Gov. Palin's possible abuse of power, but it wasn't. However, the very overwhelming fact of the economy's tanking is shadowing every other issue Americans might care about. So much for any surprises.

Check This Out

Do you wish you could get a bailout? Or wish you could decide where that money would go? How about for teachers? The Food Stamp and School Lunch Programs? Police Officers? New homes? To pay off student loans? To pay for the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq?

Look at what $700 billion dollars would buy.

I Love It When A Plan Comes Together!

I don't send money directly to candidate's campaigns. There's something so odoriferous to me about how money = votes, and the press is always reporting on the fundraising done by this or that candidate or campaign as if the one with the most money wins (which is sometimes the case). Also, my vote can't be bought - I may vote with a sense of resignation, but not because I saw this many "convincing" TV ads; I read my ballot booklet and I try not to vote with my gut (for example, the hardest votes for me are for/against bond measures). I think about how people I know may be affected by whether the measure succeeds or fails.



About a week ago I received a forwarded email from a friend about Sarah Palin. I've received a few of these, like a letter from a Wasilla resident and from Planned Parenthood. The letter I got from my friend was a suggestion to send a donation to Planned Parenthood in the anti-choice Sarah Palin's honor, and because I trust this friend I know she's internet savvy, I made a decision. I Googled the name of the person who signed the email I got, and found her at a local college.


The email suggested sending a donation of at least $5 to Planned Parenthood in honor of Sarah Palin. As the honoree, Palin would receive a card acknowledging the donation in her name. I'm someone who believes that each person should be able to decide for herself whether she will have a baby; I'm someone who has used PP for health services (full disclosure: birth control pills and the last shot of three for the hepititus B vaccine); and I'm someone who understands that not all teens can go through their family doctors for certain kinds of health care, so I support Planned Parenthood's mission. By supporting Planned Parenthood, and by letting Gov. Palin know I support Planned Parenthood, I would a) not contribute to any presidential campaign and b) let McCain/Palin I do not support their campaign. Also, I like irony.


Then I did something I have only done once before, which was forward the email to a bunch of (selected) friends (I never send anything to my entire email address book). One of my friends wrote back that she was looking for her credit card and hoped that PP would get $1000 from this effort.


Yet another friend sent me (and others) an email following up on the Planned Parenthood Donate in Palin's Name email. The estimate of $1000 was an underestimate. As of September 30, Planned Parenthood had received over $763,000 dollars from 30,000 donors, 3/4 of whom are first-time donors.


To quote Hannibal Smith, I love it when a plan comes together.


** If you wish to participate, please go here. Gov. Palin's address is John McCain 2008, P.O. Box 16118, Arlington , VA 22215