We are advertis'd by our loving friends

- King Henry the Sixth, V.iii

Art Buchwald passed away yesterday. Looks like his last column was published just two weeks ago. I saw an interview with him from a few months ago on "The News Hour with Jim Lehrer" (again anchored by Ray Suarez - since I always listen to it on KQED Radio, I had no idea he has a beard!) and in it he says that he and his children have planned the memorial service, and that it should be a "pretty hot ticket."

Phil laid out instructions for a memorial service for himself, after his father died. I think he was unsatisfied with whatever had happened at his father's memorial. Phil wanted a wake at the house in Seattle, with a keg of Red Hook ale. When he did die, unexpectedly, the following summer, there were instructions to follow. Thank goodness, because none of us would have known what do otherwise - we were all 24-25 years old, and I'm thankful that nobody had to put on a tie or nylons and sit on benches in a funeral home chapel. Not to mention that that would have irritated Phil to no end. Quite the opposite happened: I understand that the police were called to the wake in Colorado Springs, investigating noise complaints.

On the other hand, Shmeen's father, and my friend, Dick would have been irritated, because when he passed away, there was a traditional memorial service at Temple Emanu-El. B said several times, "Dick would have hated this." She said that he would instruct her to put him in a shoebox and leave it on some hiking trail. In that case, it seemed right to have a more traditional event - Dick's being older, there were a lot of older people at the service who would not have appreciated a backyard kegger or a hilly hike. Even the rabbi commented on Dick's disinterest in a formal ceremony, saying during the eulogy, "Richard never cared too much for religious rigmarole."

How we say goodbye, be it a wake, funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life, is about who is left after someone has passed away. Phil's keg was appropriate for us... Dick's shoebox wasn't. I'm glad we had the wake Phil wanted, because it would have made him happy, and I'm glad we had the memorial service Dick wouldn't have wanted, because he was so funny when he was pretending to be annoyed.